On Monday I did something I've never done before - I sent my tutor a draft of my essay. Having worked on it most of last week and all weekend, I felt quite happy with the end result but as the tutor kindly offered to read a draft, and on the advice of SH No. 1, I went against my own intuition and emailed it to her.
I will admit that I initally didn't want to send in a draft because I had worked so hard on it and I really didn't want anyone giving me advice on how to make it better (putting my head in the sand?). Anyway, it was extremely kind of her to read it but what little confidence I had before, has dwindled even further. No, she wasn't unkind. It just seems my opening thesis, which she's not clear on and the structure of the essay that needs work. The problem I have is that I don't agree with her!!!!
I have myself in such a state at the moment, I think I'm best to just sit on it for a couple of days; clear my head, go for a couple of long, rambling walks and come back to it later. But honestly, it would be so easy for me to just quit right now!
If my tutor for some weird reason decides to Google my name and sees this post - I'm sorry! Yes, I have only just realised this is possible!
I will admit that I initally didn't want to send in a draft because I had worked so hard on it and I really didn't want anyone giving me advice on how to make it better (putting my head in the sand?). Anyway, it was extremely kind of her to read it but what little confidence I had before, has dwindled even further. No, she wasn't unkind. It just seems my opening thesis, which she's not clear on and the structure of the essay that needs work. The problem I have is that I don't agree with her!!!!
I have myself in such a state at the moment, I think I'm best to just sit on it for a couple of days; clear my head, go for a couple of long, rambling walks and come back to it later. But honestly, it would be so easy for me to just quit right now!
If my tutor for some weird reason decides to Google my name and sees this post - I'm sorry! Yes, I have only just realised this is possible!
I rarely show anyone my work because I am too damn stubborn to see their side of things. You are right. You don't have to agree with it. This has to be YOUR paper, not hers. However, I think it is good to sit on the suggestions for a bit and return to them when you are more removed from the emotional aspect of being "drafted."
ReplyDeleteWe used to have to do peer critiques of our work in my advanced composition class. Not only did I not want ANY advice, I certainly didn't want advice from kids a little more than half my age who were also learning how to write! BUT, I have to say that when I put my attitude on the back burner and really tried to make sense of the suggestions, my paper improved. I DIDN'T accept all the feedback I received. After all, it was MY paper. However, I did accept the feedback that made some sense to me and I ended up with an A+.
Lastly, as an art student, I am finally getting used to being critiqued. Again, I hold firm to the notion that I don't need to adopt all feedback but I have learned to appreciate it regardless.
This is at least the second (or third) time I have read references to you wanting to quit school. If you need an ear (other than an "e-ear"), send me a private message on Facebook and I would be happy to exchange phone numbers! I know you have a lot of support and probably don't need the support of an almost stranger but you are a friend none-the-less! I will say this...it definitely would be easier to walk away and quit! But my guess is that you are the kind of person who doesn't choose what is easiest; you choose what is best for you in the long run. Just a hunch. Hugs!!!
I am very much like you, and hate to hear criticism, whether constructive or not. It's a physical effort to listen, which is why this clinical placement I'm now doing (almost 100% supervised) is so very hard.
ReplyDeleteDespite this, I know that it is important to listen to the people who will be marking your work. You have to believe that they know more than you, otherwise why would they be the teacher and you the student?
Sometimes I disagree with what is said to me, but it is only courteous to consider it seriously. More often than not, with hindsight, I see that they are right and I am a stubborn hothead. And it still hurts and is annoying.
Good luck!
PS...
ReplyDeleteI just re-read your blurb at the bottom titled, "I've Done It!!!" Just for a moment, scroll down and read what you wrote and just let it soak in a little bit. You have what it takes. You just got a little side-tracked along the way!
Thanks girls! How lucky am I to have such caring, insightful comments and on a blogsite no less! Your comments mean the world to me and your blogs inspire me to TRY and keep going - although I'm not in a really good place at the moment and it is a struggle. I'm about to go over tutor's suggestions and edit a little. All I can do is what I think is best. Thankyou both again. XX
ReplyDeleteHi again. I will give my two cents too. Sometimes I am the kind of person who takes criticism as personal, when actually the comments are mostly about the work at hand. Also, sometimes when I take suggestions and make some little changes, it actually makes the work better. It is just hard to do that when it is somebody else's suggestion, no matter who it is.
ReplyDeleteYes E. you are so right. I too take it personally and I have since made the changes recommended and am quite happy with the finished product!
ReplyDeleteI was so happy to read your comment on my blog today! Way to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One day closer!!!!
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