Well, you'll all be pleased to know I didn't pull any eyes out of sockets or hair out of scalps. Instead I've been panicking about starting back at uni tomorrow. I can't believe it. While I've been slaving away with summer semester, it does feel as if I haven't really left but I'm so nervous about walking back into that lecture hall.
I feel as I did two and a half years ago when I did it for the very first time. I'm filled with all the usual self-doubt - what if I can't find the room? What if I get there and I'm not on the roll? What if I don't understand the subject? It's Desktop Publishing and I'm scaring myself stiff with imagining stupid things like not knowing how to turn the computer on; not understanding the terminology and yes, being the oldest in the class (that's a given - I usually am!). But more importantly, what am I going to wear? And far from being my usually organised self, I only today got my diary and lecture pad, having spent the last week frantically trying to finish another assignment for my summer class.
As I'm writing this I'm being looked at by the Dalai Lama, sitting above my laptop. Underneath his picture I've written four of the basic 'rules' of Buddhism - Do what is good; Avoid what is evil (does that include wanting to rip into my daughters like a crazy cat?); Practice so that the mind is clear; and Karma. At the moment, clearing my mind seems to be the only thing to do - breeaaaath...
Aaahhh... that's good. Now it's back to this bloody assignment.
I feel as I did two and a half years ago when I did it for the very first time. I'm filled with all the usual self-doubt - what if I can't find the room? What if I get there and I'm not on the roll? What if I don't understand the subject? It's Desktop Publishing and I'm scaring myself stiff with imagining stupid things like not knowing how to turn the computer on; not understanding the terminology and yes, being the oldest in the class (that's a given - I usually am!). But more importantly, what am I going to wear? And far from being my usually organised self, I only today got my diary and lecture pad, having spent the last week frantically trying to finish another assignment for my summer class.
As I'm writing this I'm being looked at by the Dalai Lama, sitting above my laptop. Underneath his picture I've written four of the basic 'rules' of Buddhism - Do what is good; Avoid what is evil (does that include wanting to rip into my daughters like a crazy cat?); Practice so that the mind is clear; and Karma. At the moment, clearing my mind seems to be the only thing to do - breeaaaath...
Aaahhh... that's good. Now it's back to this bloody assignment.
We have something in common. I have a picture of the Dalai Lama on the filing cabinet across from MY computer too.
ReplyDeleteI think Desktop Publishing would be a fun subject. I learned some Desktop Publishing by doing jobs for customers at a print shop. It was Learning by Doing. You can be quite creative doing desktop publishing. Let us know how it goes!
Yes, the Dalai is a good reminder of the suffering caused through attacchment! The desktop publishing din't work out and learning by doing' sounds a lot more up my alley!
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