Wednesday, May 4, 2011

What's happening to me?

Well, the holiday's over and it's back to uni today for me.  I can't say that I'm terribly excited and I can't say that I'm overly bummed either.  I haven't had any results back yet but when I do, they'll either motivate me or depress me even more.

Now I know I said a couple of posts ago that my family is my 'passion' but as much as I love them, I really need a new passion.  I don't know if it's because I've been home for over a week but when I'm not stressing over study, I'm stressing over housework!  Not what needs to be done so much as what no-one seems to be able to do.  I think by 8 o'clock in the morning everyone is pretty much desperate to get to school or work - anywhere as long as it's away from me.  Hell, I wish I could get away from me!!  I think I've just come to a point in my life where it's just really hard for me to live with other people. When the kids were young, I suppose I could mould them and control them to a certain extent.  Now they're teens, it's like sharing a house with another three completely different personalities - five people, each with their own querks and irritations.

Anyway, it's not quite time for me to enjoy the bliss of living on my own just yet, so I've decided I seriously need a hobby.  I'm so envious of people who manage to find joy and fulfilment in a hobby e.g. Sarah @ Secret Housewife.  I love hearing all about her allotment but most of all, I just love the passion with which she tells of it.  I'm not exactly sure what my new hobby will be - probably something physical seeing as I think I need it for my body and more so for my mind.  I'd like to start jogging again and have my eyes on a 5km run that's coming up in September.  I don't have a running buddy but I think hauling my ass out of bed at least three times a week to go for a jog will do me and my family the world of good.  I wonder - am I going through menapause or am I just trying to find myself?


  1. I am so sorry that you are feeling so crappy right now! I know that I am always let down when I expect the kids to help out around the house. At the same time, I feel horrible when I scream at them to clean because during the semester, I don't do squat around here myself. It is literally every man for himself while Mom is in school and may the best man win! 5 classes last semester did me in and it was extremely tough on my family since I didn't shop, clean or cook that entire semester. All I did was piss and moan and cry and scream.

    I think you are under a lot of stress and you need something that makes you happy. Yes, a hobby would be wonderful but make it something completely enjoyable..not something that you think you SHOULD do. If you want to run because running is fun for you, then run. But if you don't particularly enjoy it, then find something else. I do some drawing, book-making, cross-stitching, gardening.

    Oh! How far into the semester are you and how much of the semester do you have left? Whenever I am 5 weeks into any semester (and have 11 left), I feel like my life is crumbling around me and it lasts for about 4 weeks..until I am passed the half-way mark. Hang in there!

  2. I agree with Nicki! I enjoy running, but haven't done it for a while because I am out of the habit.When I do run I find it totally clears my head and makes me feel more 'me'.I find its important to get away from my family, much as I love them,because sometimes I need time to be alone.Thanks for your kind remarks about me and my allotment by the way!! You will find your way through this - don't worry.Sarah x

  3. Thanks girls for the advice. Next post will be happier - I promise! X


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Well, I've finally done it!! Got accepted into Uni AND created a blog!!! After searching for insightful websites to help me tackle my journey into academia at my ripe old age and coming up with nil, I decided to start one of my own. I hope this blog will encourage anyone who has ever doubted their own abilities, to put one foot in front of the other and achieve their ambitions, desires, matter what they are. If anyone has any inspiring stories to share, I would love to hear them. I love an inspiring story!!!