Photo by: D Sharon Pruitt |
I decided sitting on the deck was the perfect place to proceed. Not quiet, but peaceful with the sounds of waking birds (and a little traffic, but that's okay). As I closed my eyes, I began to concentrate on my breathing...
10 seconds in - the cat next door screeched, followed by the dog barking...
11 seconds in - "Now just relax"...
30 seconds in - I begin to smell sea air and am picturing myself cross-legged on the beach, watching the sunrise.
35 seconds in - "Stop frowning and relax"...
40 seconds in - "Oh, hurry up, hurry up - relax and become enlightened"...
This self-talk continued for what seemed like an eternity but was actually only a few seconds and what I was really beginning to notice was my habitual feeling of being rushed. That any minute now, someone was going to wake and find me - disturb my unskilled meditation practices. Not just that, but that it was urgent that I get it done, there were things I had to do. Actually, I didn't have anything to do - I had nothing imperitive that needed my attention - this is just the way I always feel. Rushed.
After about three minutes or so, I noticed my breathing became slower, my thoughts were fewer and my mind became lighter. After five minutes, I slowly began to open my eyes, which seemed to be such an effort. I felt like I'd been asleep. I felt refreshed. How hard it was for me to sit still and relax for just five minutes!
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