Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Suck it up, princess!

Yesterday morning during breakfast, I went on a rant about how all I do is run around after everyone and I'm so tired and how on earth am I going to do anything over Summer Semester with the kids home on holidays - it'll be 'take me here, take me there' and why am I even bothering trying to get a degree, what's the point?  I'll never be able to use it anyway, I'll be too old, no-one will want me, my best years are over...whinge, whinge, moan, moan.  I then stormed off into my bedroom to have a little weep about how unfair my life is...whinge, whinge, moan, moan.

Little did I realise No. 1 son was in the kitchen making his breakfast, listening to every single gripe that spewed forth from my lips.  After about half an hour, he knocked on my bedroom door and told me he'd washed and wiped all the breakfast dishes so I wouldn't have to do it.  Oh, the guilt!  After giving him a big snuggle, I quickly explained that he wasn't the reason I felt this way to which he replied, 'I know, I just wanted to do something nice for you.'  Still racked with guilt, I dropped him off at school and again reiterated my morning pity party was not because of him.  As he shut the door and crossed the road, he turned and blew me a kiss. 

I sobbed all the way home, up the stairs and on my bed for about an hour.  Who am I kidding?  My life is great.  As No. 1 Son says, suck it up, princess.


  1. Oh God - I feel for you so much! My son once said to me 'Did we really ruin your life?' after one of my 'I hate being a taxi service' rants.
    It is so hard being a mum and actually leading a life of your own. When I was suffering from PND my therapist said that part of me was grieving for the life I had lost and that hit such a chord.In my old life I was respected, someone,and now I am just 'mummy.I am not saying you are in that sort of state!!
    What I mean is that feeling that way is normal for someone who is juggling so many balls and your son will not be damaged by the realisation that you are more than 'mum' - you are a person with feelings and frustrations and sometimes you are not perfect. If anything stuff like this brings you closer together because it makes you both appreciate the other even more.
    And lastly ... if you are 43 and feeling like nobody will want you when you get your degree? I am 47 *sobs quietly into gin*
    Take care. Don't beat yourself up. Sarah x

  2. Thanks, Sarah, it's nice to know there are lots of other mum's out there who feel the same. At the moment, I have no job, I'm not studying and apart from pottering in the garden and doing some sewing, all I really have is my family. And it's moments like my one above that we have to recognise just that - it's all about family and I'm lucky I have one! Things will be good once I get back into uni, I'll have something for me - then it'll be a different gripe! As far as age goes, it's just a number *as I too sob into my gin, lime and soda*!!! xxx

  3. When I was in-between semesters and knee deep in school work, I did the same thing. I complained all the time about how nobody does shit around here because, well, nobody did shit around here....or so I thought. It turned out, I was only noticing what wasn't done and not noticing what was done (still, very little). At any rate, I started to feel so guilty, as you know, that I was sucking as a mother, wife, friend, sister, daughter-in-law, I took a break from school. Knowing that I AM NO JUNE CLEAVER, I had to mentally prepare for being Suzie Homemaker. I tell myself every day now that I am happy to wait on long as they still make an effort to pull their weight! It has been going okay so far...but then again, I am only in week 2 of my break! I'll check back again in a month to let you know that I have thrown a large pot at someone's skull when they didn't renew the toilet paper roll or pick up a damn sock off the floor in 4 weeks! =)) Hang in there and continue to look for the good in your life right now.


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