Well bully for you!

Picture this if you will. 

It's a beautiful crisp winter morning with not a cloud in the sky.  I decide to take my son and his friend to the park for a kick of the footy.  The park is a hive of activity - people are everywhere walking their dogs; kids are running, cycling or scooting; the cockatoos are in their hundreds, screeching and swooping in their search for their favourite seed.  Okay, enough of the poetry.  At the park there are three footy fields with a goal post at each end, so that makes...six goal posts in total.  The boys find their goal post and decide to play a game of half-field footy while myself and my faithfull dog, Bindi, sit in the stands to watch.  We remain this way for half an hour. 

Suddenly an SUV pulls up and out hops a stout looking man followed by four small children who immediately congregate around the very goal post my son and his friend are playing at.  The father (presumably) is at the boot of the car busily unloading soccer balls, footy balls and footy tee's, while at the same time shouting instructions to I don't know who.  Now, at this stage as I watched silently on, I thought without a shadow of a doubt that obviously once this guy unpacks the car of this paraphenalia, he'll advise his brood to move on to the next goal post.  So imagine my surprise when he swaggered confidently to the very spot my son was playing his game.  In fact, he swaggered RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of my son's game!

As I got up and silently muttered 'You have got to be kidding me', I felt absolutely certain that once he saw that these guys had a guardian, he would definitely move on.  Nope.  In fact, I don't even think he battered an eyelid in my general direction.  He and the kids proceeded to set up their little sports arena right under the posts, effectively pushing my boys out of the way.  Now my question for you is, did I
a)  Politely make myself known at which time the gentleman apologised and moved on?
b)  Politely show the gentleman the five other goal posts at which stage he apologised and moved on? or
c)  Say nothing and move my boys to another goal post?

Now, I really wish I could confidently tell you it was a) or b).  However, quite unbelievably (mostly to myself), it was c).  I called over to the boys to just move to another goal post and then spent the next hour berating myself, on the verge of tears!  Even as I'm telling the story I cannot believe this was my reaction!  I was and still am so angry at myself for not sticking up for the boys and telling that big bully where to go.  Now I have been known in the past to speak my mind at various injustices.  I once went right up to a car window in a parking lot and confronted a woman who called me a bitch ('Excuse me?  I'm a what?').  I also once yelled in a rage at a trolley boy for almost running me over with about a thousand trollies at the supermarket (how embarrassing!).  Have I lost my spark?  One very well meaning friend pointed out that I was a woman alone and the man in the park could quite easily have lost his temper with me if I'd have said anything.  This is the same well meaning friend who also incredulously pointed out that the lady in the car park could've pulled out a gun and shot me as I stuck my head in her window!!!! 

The boys didn't care, they just moved their game to another field but this incident has been bothering me for a week and I can't let it go.  What's happening to me?  Maybe I'm mellowing; maybe sometimes you have to turn a blind eye; or maybe (gasp) my new-found education has enabled me to think about and choose my battles rather than running in like a bull(y) at a gate.   

The Simple Life

Two years in the making and almost there!

Yes, I know - it's been a while.  With uni finishing two weeks ago (no results as yet!), I was a bit worried about how I would occupy my time for the next six weeks.  It seems I have more hobbies and interests than I once thought and boredom hasn't been a problem.

I love listening to my Nana speak of a time when vegetables came straight from the back yard and a simple picnic in the countryside was considered the best in family fun and entertainment.  It seems I have inadvertantly taken a leaf out of my Nan's book these holidays and have been enjoying the simplicity of life.  I've taken up a two year cross stitch project and am determined to finish it in time for my Neice's 5th birthday - some of you may recognise it from a year or so ago and I'm finally getting there!  I've been ditching the car and walking wherever I can - the library, the post office, the shops - and have been feeling healthier as a result.  And I've been doing lots and lots of cooking - soups, cakes, biscuits - not so good for the waistline but the walking will take care of that, hopefully!  I've had my mobile on silent and avoid the computer and the internet at all costs!  Yes, I am 42 not 72 but you like what you like and I've decdided this is the life for me at the moment.

However, I know that in a couple of weeks I'll be itching to get back to my study.  In fact, I went in today to return some books and I was surprised at how much I miss going to lectures and socialising with all my under 25 year old friends!  But not that much - I'm now off to make some Melting Moments to take to my Nan.

Guidance

Another busy weekend driving children here there and everywhere - sports, parties, work, classes.  Not much time spent reading unfortunately.  I have to finish Middlemarch by Thursday in preparation for a final exam in two weeks.  I'm not totally sure how to make the time to do this.  I seem to just manage snippets of time in which I read five pages. Reading at night in bed is impossible - I read two pages and I'm asleep!!  I'll have to lock myself away tonight, the coffee pot beside me, and just finish it.

In the meantime, I've been helping TD No. 1 research universities for next year!  Not an easy task considering she's once again changed her mind about what she wants to do and where she wants to go.  The guidance officer at school doesn't help by telling her that because she's quiet (?) she might be better off applying to a smaller university!!!  Unfortunately, she didn't think to tell her that the smaller university - which happens to be the one I go to - would require TD No. 1 to take two buses.  Me thinks TD No. 1 thinks that good old Mum will be around to drive her to and fro!  Me also thinks the guidance officer should be providing a little more guidance and telling students to apply to the uni that offers the best course requirements, not the best social environment!

To sign off, I would like to say a big congratulations to all my fellow mature-age bloggers who have recently graduated - and there seems to be a lot of you.  You all continue to inspire me to make my dreams happen.  Thankyou and good luck!

Calm before the storm?

I'm halfway through reading my very last novel for the semester and I feel so calm!  All I have pending are two exams coming up in four weeks and I'm not altogether sure how to prepare for them but I'm worried the calm I feel now will soon give way to stress! 

I finally got one of my essays back yesterday and was happy with a Distinction - but not jumping for joy.  Although I'm still determined to give everything 100%, I feel as if some of my passion for university has gone astray.  My new goal is to have my degree finished by mid-year 2013.  This means completing three subjects a semester - I know I can do it and I actually think it will be less stressful than doing two!  I have more time to think and worry while doing two subjects whereas doing three, I just know I have to get it done!

I'm really missing being in the workforce and came across a great job with a theatre company the other day as an Arts Administrator.  Isn't it ironic that I left my job as an administrator in order to find something better, only to be considering going back into the same field, albeit in a different capacity? 

I suppose it's taken this little journey of mine to realise what I'm best suited to but what I'm learning on the way is giving me the confidence I need to realise that!  I just hope I haven't burned all my bridges.

Mum's the word

Sometimes you get discouraged because I am so small,

And always leave my fingerprints on furniture and on walls.
But everyday I am growing, I'll be grown up someday,
And all these tiny handprints will simply fade away.
So here's a final handprint just so you can recall,
Exactly how my fingers looked when I was very small.

Today as I was rummaging through all my keepsakes (yes, I admit it, I am a hoarder!), I came across the Handprint Poem. I have, as I'm sure many of you also have, received this poem on numerous occasions over the last 17 years - for Mother's Day. I remember the first time I received it from TD No.1 when I picked her up from kindy. The card had her little handprint on the front and as I read the poem I distinctly remember becoming so overwhelmed with love and emotion, as I still am to this day whenever I read it.

Happy Mother's Day to all my fellow Mums and Moms. I hope your endless love and tireless devotion is duly rewarded with breakfast in bed!!

Time flies

After yesterday's somewhat miserable blog (sorry people!), I was determined to post some happy news on the homefront.  Last Friday TD No. 1 had her Year 12 formal (prom to all my American friends) and doesn't she look absolutely beautiful?  Yes, of course I'm biased and for all of our many disagreements, I couldn't have been prouder.  I had to stop myself from bawling when she came home after having her hair and makeup done.  It wasn't so long ago she was a 3 pounder, spending many weeks in a humidicrib (not sure of the spelling!), now she's a beautiful, intelligent young lady- what mother wouldn't be proud?

I'm just reminded of what a big year it is for our family this year.  TD No. 2 has her semi-formal soon (more dress shopping - yeah), No. 1 Son graduates from Year 7 and I will be another year closer to my degree!  How the years soon get away from us - all the better to make the most of them I say.

What's happening to me?

Well, the holiday's over and it's back to uni today for me.  I can't say that I'm terribly excited and I can't say that I'm overly bummed either.  I haven't had any results back yet but when I do, they'll either motivate me or depress me even more.

Now I know I said a couple of posts ago that my family is my 'passion' but as much as I love them, I really need a new passion.  I don't know if it's because I've been home for over a week but when I'm not stressing over study, I'm stressing over housework!  Not what needs to be done so much as what no-one seems to be able to do.  I think by 8 o'clock in the morning everyone is pretty much desperate to get to school or work - anywhere as long as it's away from me.  Hell, I wish I could get away from me!!  I think I've just come to a point in my life where it's just really hard for me to live with other people. When the kids were young, I suppose I could mould them and control them to a certain extent.  Now they're teens, it's like sharing a house with another three completely different personalities - five people, each with their own querks and irritations.

Anyway, it's not quite time for me to enjoy the bliss of living on my own just yet, so I've decided I seriously need a hobby.  I'm so envious of people who manage to find joy and fulfilment in a hobby e.g. Sarah @ Secret Housewife.  I love hearing all about her allotment but most of all, I just love the passion with which she tells of it.  I'm not exactly sure what my new hobby will be - probably something physical seeing as I think I need it for my body and more so for my mind.  I'd like to start jogging again and have my eyes on a 5km run that's coming up in September.  I don't have a running buddy but I think hauling my ass out of bed at least three times a week to go for a jog will do me and my family the world of good.  I wonder - am I going through menapause or am I just trying to find myself?