I must be boring

Photograph:  Paul Popper/Popperfoto/Getty Images

Semester two is officially over - u-huh, oh yeah - (just imagine me doing a happy dance)!  At last, now that I'm no longer doing summer semester, I can do all those things I've been fantasising about for the last three months. 

Let's see...there's that enormous list of books I kind of said I'd re-read.  And now I'm no longer on Facebook, I suppose I could take the opportunity to ring some friends and have a get-together.  I should write out all 20 of my Christmas cards...  Hmmmm...what else?  Well, I'll have more time to work on the bod and go to the gym, I guess.  And I could go and visit my Nana more often...  Oh yeah, and the windows all need a good cleaning.  OMG - what on earth am I going to do for the next three months?!!!

I remember when I was little and would often whine, "I'm bored", my Mum would reply, "then you must be boring."  Well,  I guess I'm boring because I can't think of anything much that adequately fill the next 126 days.  Eeeeek!

I love you but please leave!

I love my children, I really do.  But God knows, after almost nineteen years of being a mum my patience is worn thin.  I've taught them everything I know; I've loved them to within an inch of my life; I've supported them in every way I know how and I've gently nudged them towards independence.  So what do you do if they're not interested in leaving the nest?

SH No. 1 and I have a five year plan.  The plan is that in five years, both girls will have finished uni and have a job, while No. 1 son will have finished high school.  When this glorious day happens, we plan to move into an inner-city apartment by the river.  A two bedroom apartment.  With only enough room for the two of us (plus No. 1 son until he too has a job and flys the coop).  But as the time gets closer and closer, I'm beginning to realise it may not be quite so simple. 

My already 'adult' child is far from independant and I often find myself wishing university in Australia was the same as college in America where, externally, you tearfully wave them goodbye while internally, you're grinning at the prospect of them becoming independent human beings - job done.  As it is at the moment, I find myself thinking I haven't done such a great job because my five year plan looks like becoming a ten year plan, in which case, I'll be leaving before they do.

Maybe my gentle nudging will have to become one big push - off the lounge and into the wide, wide world.

What, you're not on Facebook?

This is what a a friend said (well, texted) to me when I told her I was no longer doing the Facebook thing.  I've deactivated my Facebook account after many weeks of internal conflict and I've got to say, it feels quite liberating.  I'm not dissing social media in the least, I just don't think it's quite my thing and much prefer real, live 'face to face' (or voice to voice!) contact.   And besides, how many times have you texted or put something on Facebook that has been taken totally out of context?  This has happened to me often over the past couple of years. 

I recently sent a friend from uni a text (a simple "ok", mind you) only to have her tell me she thought I was angry with her because I didn't put a smiley face at the end of my message!  A family member also took offence at what I meant to be a witty message but which she construed to be an insenstive one, again, because I didn't properly identify it as such with the cursory smiley face or appropriate emoticon.  I then found myself apologising for an innocent comment that had been taken the wrong way.  That's the thing with all this texting and posting and even sometimes, emailing - there's no tone!  Just the other day, I made an innocent comment via email to the uni administrator, which she in turn took as me somehow slighting her job (I didn't!) and sent me an email, which I then construed as her being curt and defensive!  With one phone call, all was cleared up and the misunderstanding was sorted.

 And now with Facebook and all the media attention over bullying - 12 year olds hanging themselves because of faceless, nasty comments - my own immediate circle has become divided over comments that have been made via this 'social' medium.  Some things should just remain private and most issues can be cleared up with a simple phone call.

I think I've posted before that sometimes I think I'd feel quite at home living an Amish lifestyle.  (Well, maybe not completely Amish - do they have telephones?).  In the weeks I've lived without Facebook or Twitter, I've spoken to more friends by telephone and have even had dinner with a friend I haven't 'spoken' to in at least a year. 

From now on, the only self-promotion I'll be doing is via this blog - through which, I might add, I've made some valued 'friends' who I've 'spoken' to either via Skype or in the flesh when I travelled to another country - so I'm not saying social media is all bad.  It's just not the same as speaking to someone 'face to face'. 

Now, where's my horse and buggy?!